Looking for Script critiquers for Cafe Memoria

April 21, 2014 at 1:17 pm | Posted in Progress, Story, Writing | Leave a comment
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Cafe Memoria Logo

Edit: Closed! Thanks to those who volunteered!

Click here for corresponding post at Lemma Soft Forums.

Now’s your chance to help out in the development of the VN, Cafe Memoria! I’m looking for a few people to critique the scripts of Cafe Memoria.

Story and characters overview

Café Memoria is a new restaurant in town, run and operated by a woman named Elena Pervova. You, as the male protagonist (Ryne), are curious about this restaurant and decide to eat lunch there. As you enter, you are greeted by a female friend of yours, and the daughter of the owner of the restaurant, Anna, who happens to be quite shy. Since she works here, perhaps this is an opportunity for her to improve. How well do you think she will do?

Ryne Reyes
Pronounced: rhine
Ryne is the main male protagonist who visits Café Memoria simply out of curiosity. Described as calm and friendly by his friends, he likes to help his friends with the problems they face.

Anna Pervova
Anna is the daughter of the owner of the restaurant, Elena. She startles easily and is quite shy. Her mother thinks that by allowing her daughter to work, her confidence will improve. However, she doesn’t think so. Because of her personality she tends to fidget a lot and is quite clumsy.

Mikaela Kier
Pronounced: mi-kay-la
Mikaela is Ryne’s childhood friend, and is somewhat overprotective of him. She inadvertently broke something expensive, and now she’s forced into a part-time job to pay it off. She has a very short temper and loses patience easily. Often gets into petty arguments with Julia.

Tristina Hamilton
Tristina decided to work at the restaurant because she thinks they’re cosplaying, although Anna insists they’re not. Despite this, she has a hard time with males and treats them differently compared to females.

Aurelia Alvarez
Pronounced: oh-reel-ya
Aurelia wanted to work at the restaurant because of a certain guy she knows is a regular there, who she considers a very sweet guy. She is perhaps the nicest, and the most physically attractive girl in the restaurant, albeit airheaded and lacking in common sense.

Julia Sakuraba
Despite having a talent for cooking, Julia opted to be a waitress in hopes of improving her relationships with her friends, including Anna. She’s very modest and polite, and downplays any accomplishments she’s done.

Elena Pervova
Anna’s mother, and owner of Café Memoria. Although you never see her in the game, her name is mentioned several times throughout. She is described as an easygoing woman who likes to tell embarrassing stories about her daughter.

Here’s more overview / progress of the project if you missed them: Click Here and Here

What you’ll be looking at:

  • Six Word 2010 script draft documents. An overview + the scripts; note the routes are played in this order:
    • Overview of story, characters, and system
    • Anna’s route: 7 pages, 2683 words
    • Mikaela’s route: 7 pages, 3406 words
    • Tristina’s route: 7 pages, 3629 words
    • Aurelia’s route: 9 pages, 3714 words
    • Julia’s route: 11 pages, 4338 words

Script sample, click to view larger:

Script sample, Anna's route

What I’m looking for:

  • Overall constructive criticism
  • Constructive criticism for each of the routes
  • Any suggestions on describing the taste of food.
  • Anything else as long as it’s constructive!

Keep in mind that this is a small and free VN, so this will be a collaboration.

Interested? Email me here, or send me a PM here (user: thebackup) with your email, and I’ll give you a google drive link to the scripts. Try to give me feedback (email or PM) within two weeks, between now and May 6th (trying to get this done before or around July!).

Let me know if you have any questions… Thanks!

-Ryne (project manager)

Updated Interface

April 9, 2014 at 1:21 pm | Posted in Artwork, Progress | 1 Comment
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Cafe Memoria is progressing nicely, story and GUI-wise! Here’s some screenshots of the interface as of late… click to view larger:

 

Main menu screen

Main menu screen with buttons. Again, background is only a placeholder, will be replaced with something else. I’m planning on showing a random Memoria girl in the background each time you enter the main menu, perhaps along with her voice saying, “Cafe Memoria!” I’d especially like to hear Mikaela’s voice, in a cheerful tone. ^.^

 

Options menu

Options menu with buttons. Added more padding inside the boxes compared to last time I showed progress. Although… GUI needs some more work, IMO. Bars need to be changed too.

 

Save / load screen

Save / load screen. Pretty simple stuff, although getting the save slots to align was a pain. But… I like it.

 

Dialogue box, with new font.

Updated dialogue box with a new font. The dialogue font and the GUI font go well together, no?

 

New ratings form

The new feedback form, using the new font. Also includes a sticky note containing instructions on how to enter feedback. Because of the text input box for the comments, you must hit enter to continue. IIRC, I tried using a button but it didn’t save the entered text, just the numbers and yes/no stuff. Don’t know why, but it feels kind of awkward pressing enter to continue in this screen, at least for me.

I can totally imagine putting a chibi character on the side, though 🙂

 

The menu selection!

Finally, the food menu selection! I think the aesthetics need work… and the food images might need work as well as I just grabbed images off Google as placeholders. Why the limited selection? Remember that this is a small VN! However, there are breakfast, dinner, and a drinks menu as well.

In the next couple of weeks there might be an opportunity to help out with the project… so stay tuned ^^

Enjoy!

-Ryne (project manager)

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